06 February, 2015

Thanks for relative ease

Today was vinyasa with Chelle.

I was really sore, way more than usual, from the previous 2 days' classes with Zak. Wasn't even sure how I'd be able to move. This was probably due to having home practiced through several days prior with the studio being closed over the weekend. But Zak also had done a lot of unusual tough moves that got muscles moving that were not use to moving. So it was a pleasant and welcome relief that Chelle was very much on "easy mode," at least by her standards. We did a pretty standard Baptiste flow, but it was actually a bit abbreviated. I'd say that we transitioned into the balancing series about 10 minutes earlier than typically happens in a 75 minute class. The order of things was shuffled around a bit, but it was still bringing about the effect of relative ease.

It was a bit of a dramatic week, and I thought that the "off the mat" experiences might be relevant to mention. I talk a lot about how critical I am of myself here in this blog, but I mention less about how critical I can be of others. This week, at work, I ran into a situation where a colleague was doing things in a way that I felt was not "right." My concern was two-fold: first, I was being strict on the rigors of our domain. Second, I was concerned that my team might be perceived poorly because of her work. So I really voiced my opinion strongly. It turned out that others agreed with me, but the result was that I really ruffled her feathers, and I also instigated a drama festival. The reality is that the drama festival may not be my fault, but I was still in a position where I possess the "intelligence, discernment, and clarity" to make a choice that would mitigate drama rather than promote it. But my triggers were squeezed, and I couldn't resist.

I think I am far less prone to doing this brutal exactness at any costs than I used to be. But I wish I could find it in myself to be a uniter rather than a divider. If someone is having a hard time, or in conflict, could I find a way to improve things, or at least to minimize harm? I tend to decide to confront "big problems" through confrontation or through complete avoidance. That's not "The Middle Way."

It's difficult to do. And especially so because I am not sure I want to.

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