02 January, 2015

First class of the year

Today was gentle yoga with Sharon Lightfoot-Pound at The Yoga Tree.

I don't often go to this studio. I'd bought a 10 class pass when I first started working nearby, and have only used 3 of the passes to this day. It has the advantage of being close to work, but I haven't found myself drawn to the place yet. Today's class was called Hatha 1-3, but it was not much like the Hatha classes I've taken elsewhere, and the intensity level was very low. Thus, I'm "categorizing" it as a gentle class.

Today's attendance here was to accommodate evening plans I had that would conflict with after-work yoga. I didn't attend the New Years' Day workshop at Shakti yesterday, because I got off to a late start, and didn't really feel like doing yoga right after waking up (yes, at 10am). So that put me in the position of not wanting to miss 2 days in a row to start 2015. And, hence, this.

It's hard to set intention or resolutions when I am not really sure what I want from the year. I can get scattered scrambling thoughts like "I am going to pursue these hobbies" or "I am going to do these improvements on my new home" or "I am going to spend more time with these friends" or "I am going to focus on being more relaxed and attentive to the moment" or... the list goes on. Those are all really easy intentions to clutch at. But the (slightly troubling) thing is, I don't don't really know what I want to intend or resolve to do. I've got everything I could possibly want in my life, with the possible exception of infinite vacation time, and infinite funds to spend on said vacation. But I don't really know what comes next. Nothing's wrong. It's not a rejection of status quo. I mean, could it possibly be that my intention or resolution is to just keep doing the same thing? Or perhaps to become more content, accepting, or whatever, that doing the same thing is an acceptable thing to do?

If I have a thought "I am bored" then my mind always races to "What am I going to do next?!"
If I have a thought "I am not creative enough" then my mind pressures me to try to create.
If I have a thought "I should be in better shape" then I start worrying about that.

But what if, instead of all these judgments triggering reactions, I just resolved to look at my trajectory from the outside, recognize that it's all pretty hunky-dory, and just sit with those thoughts and not react?

It's not that I don't have any resolutions or intentions to set. Some of them are right there. But they're hard. Things like "Be nicer." Things like "Be more patient." Things like "Be more accepting."

And with that, I will say no more.

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