26 January, 2015

Being without reaction

Today was vinyasa with Tara.

It was similar to the last class. I found myself thinking about talking with her after class about the aspects that I wish were different than they were. But I find myself asking myself whether it's really necessary that I try to control everything. A million different ways that I try to wriggle around the lack of control. I tell myself that it's feedback that I should really give. But why? Why me? This is what it is. This is what's happening. I can choose to go to the class and practice. I can choose not to go to the class. There are some elements of the class that I find really amazing. Things that hit home. And there are some things that I wish were different. How is that not like life? How is that not the perfect place to practice with what is? Don't change it. Learn to be with it. Don't avoid it. Don't complain about it. Don't even describe it. Just experience it and experience what it feels like to experience it.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy.

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