19 December, 2014

Everything hurts

Today was vinyasa with Chelle.

Maybe it's because I traveled this week, or because I recently increased the number of longer classes I've been taking, but everything hurt today and nothing felt particularly good. My wrists were aching the entire class, and all of the deep lunges felt like nothing in my hips wanted to cooperate. And there was so much fatigue in my legs, it was hard to even stay in the poses. To make matters worse, I was teetering on the edge of foot cramps the entire class, and not from any particularly severe heat in the room. I must have just shown up dehydrated.

But this is not "the norm." Just last week I had a great class. It's important to remember that this is temporary. But it's difficult to remember. Near the end of class, we were asked to do Dancer's Pose, and I found it very hard to balance at all. I started to get mad at myself and had the negative thoughts and dissatisfaction with myself. As I felt more and more exhausted from the long time spent in poses, I even felt myself getting angry at Chelle. But not particularly angry. This is all familiar. This has all happened before.

The body ebbs and flows, and it's hard to flow when you're ebbing.

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