26 December, 2014

Bare minima

Today was home practice.

I had the day off today. I had all day to do yoga. I had said that I would cook dinner tonight. For some reason, I stalled, and let the day fritter away to the point that it was time for dinner, but I still hadn't done yoga. I don't know if this was procrastination, or getting absorbed in the moment, or not taking commitments seriously, or what. But I felt a little badly about it, because if you say you're going to make dinner, it's best not to make people wait for it.

The last couple of days, I have had "Obsession du Jour." One night, I spent 3 hours researching home security systems (don't even think about breaking in, because I have a robotic Doberman, 8 motion sensors, a central alarm that rings Homeland Security, and a siren that is loud enough to shatter your eardrums... or do I? Don't test me...). The next day, I spent hours researching acoustic treatment for home recording studios. What's that, you ask? It's a million different kinds of foam you can put on your walls so that the sound coming out of your speakers is accurate, and not victim of echo or reflections or resonances in the room. Boring. But I still managed to spend hours researching it.

When I start ratholing on things like this it is usually a sign that something's rotten in the State of Denmark. This is how I withdraw from normal life. Well, it's one of the ways. Sometimes, I would withdraw into various types of addiction like online gaming of various sorts. Other times, it's these types of obsessive research projects. Guitar amplifier repair... Vacuum tubes... Aquariums... When I get engrossed in them, they become the most important thing.

I wouldn't be surprised if someone told me that these things tend to ramp up during the dark and depressing times of year.

All that said, today I did a rather minimal practice. It was probably about 30 minutes. It was one of those "How much yoga must I do for me to feel like I have done an acceptable practice?" That would be 3 Sun A, 3 Sun B, Crescent Lunge, Open Twist, Side Angle, Eagle, Tree, Triangle, Bridge, Pigeon. That would be the series of poses that I deem "bare minimum acceptable yoga practice for me to not feel like I have flat-out shirked."

But where was my head during this? It's interesting. I've grown pretty good at keeping the breath going, even if my head is off in lalaland. Yeah. As long as that breath is going, I'm "present," right? Um, not so much.

I recognize I'm being hard on myself again. Believe me, I recognize it.

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