29 December, 2014

About as good as it can feel

Tonight was Forrest Yoga with Zak at Shakti.

I thought I was doing Prana Flow. Turns out I was doing Forrest Yoga. Shows how much I know, right? The schedule lied, because Zak was substituting for Tara tonight. So now I know what Forrest Yoga is like, and I still need to find out what Prana Flow is like.

The class was super mellow, but deep. I was very cautious of my hip, not to grind into it or go too far. I think I have been mistaking "going deep" with "dumping into the hip" and it's been at least partially responsible for this discomfort that I am now working through.

As always, Zak's classes are peaceful and uplifting.

After class, I felt like I was floating on a cloud. It was very cold today, and the walk to the studio was chilling. But the walk back to the car after practice was refreshing. The same air. The only thing that changed was me.

Today I felt good to get work done. There are some things that have been looming over me. I have not felt productive for some time now. I have probably been productive in different ways (again, the being awfully hard on myself), but there are certain types of output that I feel I need to deliver to be doing my job to the fullest. Today I made reasonable progress toward one of those goals. I had even scheduled for myself a little time-wasting event. I told myself "You can look at X, once you get to such and such a point in the progress." As the day went on, I decided never to go look at X. I actually passed up the time-wastage gift that I had promised myself.

So perhaps, as the new year cusps, I am about to ricochet out of my end-of-year funk that seems to happen every year around this time. In fact, if I go back and look at this day last year or the year before, I bet I know what I'll see...

Addendum, and case in point:

"My focus on the mat has been decent lately. But I have been scattered at work. All over the place. Maybe I am being hard on myself. It is the holidays. But I feel like I don't stay on task for more than a few moments before wandering to something more compelling, whatever it may be."

That was December 28, 2013. Of course, that statement would probably also be applicable on 250 out of the 365 days of the year, but we'll pretend that's not the case.

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