23 October, 2014

Letting go is not easy to do

Off the mat.

I was going to buy a house, but now I'm not.

We had an offer accepted, we did the inspection. We did all the right things. At the last moment, before we had to send our request for repairs from inspection and pass "the point of no return," I learned from a neighbor that there's going to be a big giant apartment building right in my backyard. The seller didn't tell us. It would have resulted in huge construction, noise, and almost complete loss of sunlight for a big chunk of the year. I was lucky to find out. We backed out of the offer.

The seller should have disclosed this. Technically, they're probably required by law to have disclosed this knowledge. But they didn't. And it cost me time and money. And it also cost a lot of getting our hopes up. We were excited for a new place in a new neighborhood.

I spent yesterday coming to grips with the fact that this was no longer a house we wanted.

But I'm spending today getting angrier and angrier at the seller for not having disclosed this information. We know that she knows, for reasons I won't describe. I feel bad for whoever ends up buying the house, because they probably won't know until it's too late.

Now I am mad and having angry thoughts about wanting to take the seller to court for all of my inspection costs... but I know that this is not "letting go." And I know that this would go badly, and it would only have a tiny level of reward for me. It is not necessary. I want someone to be punished for my misfortune. But there's not a lot of mileage to be had in that emotion: revenge. I know I just need to let go and move on. There were lessons here, and the outcome was as positive as it could be, given what happened. I might have not found out until next week (too late), or next year.

I want to take away from this the lessons that I learned, and see it as "$700 is not a bad price to pay for some life lessons that will stay with me." But then I think about someone trying to trick someone... trying to leave a "problem" on someone else's hands to save their own financial misfortune of owning a property that's about to become less desirable. And that sense of justice makes me start clinging all over again.

I want to have some control over the seller's choices. I want to make her do the right thing. But I don't have control. I can't make her do the right thing. And, ironically, she might come out of this mishap better off than she was, because this time they'll only accept an offer that waives the inspection. The next buyer probably won't have the opportunity to back out if/when they learn of the construction.

Still clinging... but it's not my problem anymore...

Letting go is the only sensible option. And that is always the case.

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