09 August, 2014

Maybe it's not me, it's you... or maybe it's still me.

Today was vinyasa with Jaime at Live Love Flow.

I don't know how to write this one without violating my nominal code of not criticizing a teacher. I will tell you about my experience, and leave it at that. 

I knew it would be a tough one, because it's been over a week since I have done a heated class, and even longer since I have done over an hour. And it was a morning class, which is never a great time for my body or my mind. And I haven't eaten since the equivalent of 3pm yesterday due to flight and a time difference. So I guess I was set up for challenges.

It was very difficult to find my breath today. It was shallow, not in my consciousness and, at times, possibly absent. I don't know for sure if it was absent, but I experienced a lot of distraction today, partly due to very loud music in the class, and partly due to there being (how do I say this) "a lot of verbal guidance throughout the class." It was just difficult to find a space to focus and hear the breath and turn inward. 

The class was a rather unrelenting series of flows, some of which were extremely complicated and not easy to move through, requiring (again) a large amount of verbal cuing. 

About 45-60 minutes into the class, I was getting to be toast, but the flows were not really letting up. It pushed right up to the last 5-10 minutes, which would have been hard enough if it had been the 75 minute class that was on the schedule. But, as is often the case, Jaime ran about 15 minutes long. At the very end of class, she apologized, stating that it's difficult for her to get her time management back in order, because she just got back from vacation. Well... a little hard for me to accept. First of all, her classes always run long. Second, if she's having difficulty with time management, she can bring a watch or a timer into the class, as almost every other teacher does.

I ask myself a few questions... 

Would it have bothered me if I had been better prepared for the class? 
Should I give feedback?
Or should I just "vote with my feet" and go elsewhere?
Is a class like this a perfect lesson in life, and I should embrace rather than run from it?

I think I know the answers to these questions: Probably, No, Yes, Yes.

I had a conversation with a friend and teacher of mine a couple of weeks ago, and we discussed whether one should go for those classes that drive us way outside our comfort zone in perhaps non-traditional ways. From that conversation, what I took away is that it's probably not in our interest to seek out situations that don't suit us when given other options that we know are better for us. But, when faced with such a situation, it is just another place to practice acceptance.

So, I write this as part of my documentation of my practice. And I accept it. And I'll probably let go of the irritation in a day or so. But I don't know if I'll go back to her class.

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