02 August, 2014

Late but dutiful

Today was home practice.

Started at 11pm, but it was a solid practice, following pretty closely the standard Baptiste series. The balance issues of yesterday were much better today, which I do attribute to focus, rather than to the carpet magically becoming more level than it was yesterday.

Today was not a bad day. Family time. I went to dinner with my father, and it occurred to me, a little sadly, that I won't have a son to take me to dinner when I am his age. I was asking him about his social interactions, and about whether he's made any friends or connections that he sees. And he hasn't. So, save for the people he interacts with when volunteering, people in the stores he visits each day, and occasional interactions with family, he's alone. Except, of course, when I come to visit, and he has a string of days with extended contact and long conversations. Maybe I'll die before my partner, and I won't be in the situation he's in. I don't think he laments his situation, and certainly does not complain about it. But it makes me ponder many things. Will I even be alive in 43 years to be his age one day? Will there be anyone to care for me, or see me? I made firm choices about how I wanted my life to look, with respect to family. But it was a thought about life now, not about life later. I wish to live without regret, and perhaps I will. But there are little moments where it can be scary.

I managed to keep my mind unencumbered by thoughts of that sort during my time on the mat tonight...

No comments:

Post a Comment