05 March, 2014

Experiment and results

Today was vinyasa with Chelle.

I came to class feeling the usual resistance to doing a 90 minute class. For whatever reason, I decided to "inform" Chelle before class that I might have some limitations because of my shoulder blade business. But I am not sure what was really going on there with that informational bit, since my actual experience in class was a lot more about resistance than it was about injury. After about 45 minutes into class, which was difficult, I made a decision: "I'm done." I laid down on the mat, in Savasana, and told myself that this was what my body needed today. In the locker room before class, I had mentioned to someone that I'd like to take a nap. So perhaps that was my unspoken (actually, spoken) intention. I don't know if I needed to stop, but I just felt like a wet dog, and like I wasn't getting joy from it. Excuses, I suppose. It's all in the past now, so probably no point in overanalyzing. She actually started winding down the class shortly after I dropped to the floor. I could have rejoined. But I didn't. I remained still, on my back, until nearly the end of class. When things started to really wind down, with the whole class coming to the floor, I started to experience a bit of unease. Suddenly, remaining still began to be difficult. I started feeling restless, and it grew and grew, to the point that I wanted to run screaming from the room. But I didn't. I tried to remain still. At the end of class, she had people sitting in meditation, which I also did not do. Instead I rolled to my side and laid there like a pile of wet dirty laundry. There was clearly no reason for that, other than resistance.

Not sure what was happening today, and I certainly made things difficult for myself.

I call it an experiment because I haven't really ever completely ditched on that much of a class before. The interesting part, as unpleasant as it was, is that I started feeling this restlessness and uneasy feeling after remaining still for too long. I don't know what to make of it...

if anything.

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