09 December, 2013

Not feeling playful

Today was vinyasa with Michel.

It was a great class, but I didn't join in all the reindeer games. Michel did a lot of "Level 2ish" stuff in class tonight, with the "Donkey Kicks" and the headstands, and handstands, and playing up against the wall. For the most part, I just don't feel the desire to do these things. I am not sure why, but it's kind of funny that I was just reflecting on how I don't really like to get into the silly social aspects of workplace community, either. People in our office all have nerf guns, and silly battles often erupt. Or if it's not that, then people are posting ridiculous photos, video clips, and whatnot on the group chat network. And I don't partake, hardly at all, in any of it.

Am I just not a fun person?

It's weird, because I am definitely a funny person, but I am not sure if I am a fun person. It probably depends how much I have had to drink, in which case, perhaps I should start drinking at work and in yoga class.

Anyway, what I have been working on in my practice lately is "being okay" with the choices I am making. If everyone else "flips their dog" and that's not speaking to my body today, I am working on not feeling like I am sticking out like a sore thumb, and also not beating myself up, or assuming it's "letting myself off the hook." There are rarely days where I flat-out let myself off the hook, I am coming to realize. I might let my mind wander some, especially in the later parts of a class, but I rarely slack off the practice.

So, today, when everyone was doing their kicks, and flips, I did my thing... either downward dog, or dolphin plank. I mean, I don't sit down and play Angry Birds, but those poses just aren't speaking to me, and I feel like it's okay to make that choice.

Isn't it?

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