30 December, 2013

Finding the energy when it's not there

Today was Vinyasa with Carley.

From the very first downward-facing dog today, I knew that I was operating on a near-empty tank. I've done a bunch of days in a row now. After getting into a pattern of taking a day off every 3-4 days, I went a little beyond, and I can feel it. Plus, not sleeping that great lately. In spite of the realization that it was not going to be an easy one, especially with the 90 minute agenda, I managed to stay in it through the class, and had a decent class.

I could say a bit about how the focus has been so scattered lately. But you've heard it before. The focus on the mat is okay. Focus at work, not great. Feeling a little disconnected in the social life. Is the winter with these short days a natural time to turn inward? Maybe I will emerge soon, one hopes.

I've been super-hard on myself lately. While others were enjoying the very prolonged holiday break from work, with many days off at my company, I opted to work right through most of it, with only 2 holidays actually taken. The thinking was that I'd save the time off for later. And I have berated myself for not getting more work done. And I have berated myself for not being more productive in my home projects. Lots of beratement. It doesn't seem fair to treat myself that way. Especially since I actually did get a good amount done in and out of work.

But apparently not enough...

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