12 November, 2013

Unfortunately, attitude is everything

Today was vinyasa with Chelle Swierz.

Before class, I had written that I plan to change the attitude, and that I can no longer allow myself to wallow in the state of melancholy that I have been drifting deeper into over the past weeks. I expected that this would have an impact on my practice. Not surprisingly, it did. Although it was an extremely difficult class, I did not find the same struggle, suffering, and negative emotion arising during the class. She did a very traditional "Journey Into Power" sequence. I am not going to say that I effortlessly "rocked" it, because that is also untrue. But I didn't add to my suffering by opposing everything that was presented to me.

I wonder how it is that merely setting the intention to "feel better" can make one actually feel better. It is possible, in some cases, to change the way we feel simply by a choice. I know this, and keep coming back to it. Though, it seems somewhat elusive. There is a tendency to want to cling to the stuff that induces more suffering. What does it buy us? How is that comforting?

Anyway, I think the worst may be behind me. If for no other reason than I am saying so.

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