06 October, 2013

Trying to find the intention again

Today was vinyasa + restorative yoga with Alice Harper.

Alice talked about how she's heard a lot of people say they're feeling scattered as the season is changing, and anxious, easily distracted, all that jazz. It makes me feel a little better to know that, perhaps, it's just something in the air. I am holding on, and perhaps I will emerge from the dragging my feet in the mud that has been happening for the past few weeks.

Today's class was very difficult, and I think everyone in the room must have felt it. Alice didn't have us spinning around in circles like we often do, but it was a never ending series of knees to noses, stringing together every flow with these, and really wearing me down. There were scarcely any twists, but lots and lots of lunges, and chaturangas. I guess it is a vinyasa class. I don't know why I'd expect anything different, really.

For what it's worth, my back hasn't really been hurting much, and I have been doing less and less to favor it. Whereas I was told by the physical therapist that I shouldn't be doing forward folds only a few weeks ago, I am slowly approaching my original routine. I don't know if it's prudent or not. I really don't. But I am listening to my body, and I don't think I am doing harm. We shall see.

I don't know if my practice is advancing or plateaued. That was a discussion with Elizabeth T. the other day. I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess that's what is happening here. Given my various physical limitations, I don't really know how my practice will advance. In what direction will it grow? I am still tight in the hamstrings, and limited in some of the opening that I can do because of back issues. I am not inclined to do inversions, for whatever reason... they just don't appeal to me. I suppose there's the working on the inner focus and quieting the mind? That's the place I have been struggling more lately, and it is one thing that does not require any special physical capabilities.

Or I could just wait until I naturally slide into the next phase of growth. It's hard to say whether it's more efficient to try to pull oneself forward, or just wait for the season to change again.

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