22 September, 2013

Yogi Nora

Today was home/internet practice with Yogi Nora at the Park Plaza Victoria Hotel, in London.

I am operating on 30 minutes of sleep. Perhaps 45 minutes. Yet I am still doing yoga. Traveling alone makes me feel out of sorts. First I am okay. Then I start thinking about too many things that are neither here nor now, and suddenly, I am worrying and uneasy. It's so obvious that I could make this easier for myself by not allowing the mind to drift. And I still choose to drift, taking the consequence of less happiness. I recognize also that beating myself up about this doesn't help matters any. Right? Just return to the breath. Again and again. And for me, when even that seems to be failing, I return to the yoga mat, even on 30 minutes of sleep, because it will shift me in the right direction, even if only a little bit.

I knew that Ali K's classes were going to be way too out of control for a tired body, so I searched around and found this class, taught by "Yogi Nora" that claimed to be a Gentle Flow. It was indeed that. She goes very slowly, and there were no real Chaturangas in it, always substituting an unusual version of a Cobra transition. I found Nora to be a little bit smiley for my taste, and a little too slow, but the class served the purpose that I needed. More or less. She only has a couple of full-length classes online, plus a huge catalog of 1-5 minute tutorials about how to do particular poses.

I was really worried about arriving in London and feeling a sense of emptiness. When I arrived, I didn't actually feel that. I felt a sense of openness. I wandered around the streets, with only a loose intention of navigating past some of the important sites. I was tired, but still felt the energy to roam around. And even though I didn't experience the sense of emptiness that I had been dreading, I kept waiting for it. Anticipating it. Hell, it's almost as if I will the emptiness to come. Counting the days until I return. And this is a good place to be! I chose it! I wanted this! But now that I am here, I just think about when I can get back to the comfortable routine of home. And I know it would all be different if I were not traveling alone. Though, then I would probably be worrying about the exact opposite! How many days do I have left? Did we do enough?

Cassandra often talks about how we wait all day to go to yoga, and then, once we are on our mat, we can't wait for it to be over.

Is this human nature?

I have been practicing for just about 2 years now. I am better at recognizing "what I do." And sometimes I go through periods where I am more present. But I haven't shed these patterns yet. Apparently, it doesn't happen magically, overnight.

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