20 September, 2013

And just like that...

Today was vinyasa with Tina.

Super intense class. Hot. Crowded. Unrelenting. But, for reasons unclear to me, I felt fantastic and pain free. I even did the forward folds. All of it. And it all felt good. I did take a boatload of ibuprofen. Hm. That's probably why. But where is truth? Is it what we feel or what we believe? I believe my back has issues but today I felt like it did not.

I have had some struggles off the mat lately.

Not keeping perspective. Getting riled. Getting drawn into drama. Reacting. I see that I am doing it. And I have not been exercising good judgment. And have been making questionable decisions about trusting people. Push and pull. Keeping isolated but also reaching out in weird ways. I am probably just being hard on myself. Surely.

But why?

Probably because I am outside my comfort zone. That's what I do. Or at least what I have done. I am not doomed to repeat. I have a choice.

I noticed that I have a tendency to mirror people. That often works well in communication. But not when the person you are communicating with is confrontational. Mirroring them pretty much makes for an instant fight. Being adaptable means being able to detect these things and modify on the fly. I see it. So now it's incumbent upon me to do it.

Blah blah blah.

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