08 August, 2013

When gentle isn't gentle enough

Today was GENTLE YOGA with Tina Templeman.

Today was the first day of practicing yoga in light of this new information I have about just how messed up my low back may be. Or may not be. I mean, really, the MRI says one thing, but maybe it's not as bad as the data says. Anyway, we didn't even do any Upward Facing Dogs because it was a gentle class. But Low Cobra was feeling it, which made me feel like it's not so fantastic. Of course, now that I am in the mindset of "I know there's something wrong" I think I am looking at the pain differently than before. A few days ago, I probably would have been like "Fuck it! Upward Dog HERE I COME!!!!!" and maybe it wouldn't have even hurt so much. But now, I am in this mode of expecting I should be feeling pain, because something's not right. Okay, enough of that.

I'd been waiting to take a gentle class for a long time with Tina, and finally this was my chance. But instead of being able to really enjoy it and go deep, I found myself actually laboring just to find what I could and could not do without any pain. I guess I am still whining.

Here's where I am at.

No twists. Don't let you see me doing a twist.

The jury is out on forward folds... case by case basis.

Upward dog... ugh. It's hard for me to let go of that one, and I don't know. We'll see in Elizabeth's class maybe?

Bridge? Wheel? No way. In Tina's class today, I tried putting a block on it's lowest setting under my sacrum for supported bridge, and it felt like the block was actually pressing up against my disc and triggering pain.

So this is where it's at.

I am going to keep doing yoga until I can't do yoga. But I will do it, as best as I can, in ways that don't make things worse. Unfortunately, I am not even sure what makes it worse. If inflammation is making it worse, then it's possible that any movement of that joint at all is bad. But I would imagine that no movement would be bad too. And then there's the heat... good? bad? I don't know. And then there's the fact that I am now getting on an airplane twice a week, every week... good? I hardly see how that could be anything but bad.

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