06 August, 2013

Shutting it down when necessary

Today was Power Vinyasa with Tess Tabor at Live Love Flow.

I should really just say that today was Child's Pose with Mick Feeble, because that was about the pace of things. I think I have alluded to my having some low back issues over the last few weeks, and it's become a bit worse. Somehow, yesterday, I made it through Michel's class feeling like a champ, but I must have done some fatigue on things, and I didn't get enough sleep last night. The result was that I really didn't feel particularly good doing anything in this class. From what I could tell, it was reasonably close to a Baptiste flow, with some additional things thrown in here and there, particularly to the early Sun Salutations. I kept with the class for about 30 minutes or so, with every Upward Dog hurting, and every Forward Fold feeling stiff. Finally, I realized (decided) that my body didn't want this right now. And that pushing through with an obsessive mindset, just to say "I did the whole class" was not going to serve the greater good of having a practice every day. I sometimes worry so much about "letting myself off the hook" that I err on "ignoring what my body is trying to tell me."

Once I hit that point where I realized "This is not what's happening," I decided that I would keep practicing, but it would be entirely seated poses. So I did Pigeon, and I did Seated Tree, and I did Cow Pose, and I did Plow, and I did a few other ones. I held them for a long time. I tried to follow the general vein of what she was calling out. If she had them doing Eagle, I did it on my back and did some gentle crunches in that position. I was trying to honor the practice and my body at the same time, rather than get up and leave, or just check out and lay there doing nothing (though, I do recognize that would have been completely fine as well).

It's interesting being in that state of doing "my" practice while the entire class is doing another practice. I tend to drift back and forth between hearing their instructions, noticing some of what they're doing, versus being completely zoned into my own space, just trying to stay present to the present that is my own.

Perhaps this insistence on doing yoga every day, without fail, even through substantial injury (particularly a spinal injury) is not the most intelligent choice.

Stay tuned!

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