30 June, 2013

Finding Gravity

Today was The Primary Series with Elizabeth McElveen at The White Studio.

There were only 4 of us in class today. I don't know how I managed to get out of bed, given the minimal, poor sleep. But I had decided I was committed to this 8:30am session, and I found a way there. I don't like the idea of skipping a planned yoga class, under any circumstances.

Even though my energy was lacking, and my eyes were barely open, by the time we got through the 5 Sun As, I was feeling about as awake as usual. It doesn't take much of it to wake one up, it seems.

Elizabeth spoke about thinking about how gravity is playing a role in our practice. About applying force down, in order to extend up. And that these types of equal and opposite forces can happen along any of the various axes that we move in the different poses. Sometimes we are extending forward and backward, sometimes up and down. Sometimes it's our head that's up, other times, our foot is reaching back. But there's always this elongation.

What I have started to notice is that, in the absence of extreme heat, once I am in the practice, I do not worry about time, and I do not get particularly distracted. The major distraction for me in classes is the heat, the sweat, the loss of breath from the environmental conditions. Apparently, I boil easily, and perhaps there is something to recognize in that, with respect to the rest of my life, though I don't think I have a particularly short temper. But there are other ways to unravel besides anger. Perhaps my quick fuse is related to fear, or avoidance of discomfort, or seeking pleasure. Or perhaps not all of these metaphors are applicable.

Tomorrow I get on an airplane to head to Boston. I feel a little bit anxious about my state of imagined limbo. I am not really in limbo. I am here. Sitting in a chair. In my house. In Seattle. I know exactly where I am. And tomorrow, I know exactly where I will be. And I have plenty of plans for this trip. But my internal state is apparently what is in limbo, because I feel a sense of unease. Today was a little tougher than yesterday. But everything is really okay. Lack of sleep is exacerbating these uneasy states, and the combination of whatever is driving that sleeplessness internally, plus the external factors of the heat and light, is really wearing on me. At least in Boston there will be air conditioning.

And there will be yoga.

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