14 May, 2013

Letting go gracefully

Today was Gentle Yoga with Elizabeth McElveen.

And today, it was, in fact, quite gentle. In contrast with Sunday, where Elizabeth came right in with lots to say, we started today very quiet. There's an energy of almost anticipation in the air when Elizabeth is *not* speaking, at least for me, because I am always hoping that she will soon *be* speaking. She always seems to have something to say that I need to hear.

We started class differently today. Instead of going right to Sun Salutations, which is the nearly obligatory start to every one of our classes, we began on the floor, doing stretches - Dragon Pose. Elizabeth must have sensed the energy in the room was low. And that was curious to me, because I have found, more often than not, that when Elizabeth reads the energy of the class and decides to go high or low intensity, that the collective energy is in alignment with mine. I don't understand how that is. But it seems to be a trend.

At the end, she read a quote that a friend had sent her:

What matters most is... how much you loved, how gently you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of the things that were not meant for you.

That's a big one.

She commented that some friends of hers noted that they "suck" at that last part. I'd like to say "Well, maybe we all do, especially in our culture." But I don't think it's true that we all do.

I know that this is a place where I struggle. In the past, I did not let go of anything, whether it was meant for me, or not. And I suffered. In more recent times, I have learned to let go of what is not meant for me. But I have not done it gracefully. And others have suffered.

I suppose that's progress?

But somehow, in hindsight, the previous way seemed more noble.

And, I guess, in the end, I am still suffering, because I feel regret and shame for pain I cause.

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