14 November, 2012

Not the thoughts I want to be thinking

Today was power vinyasa with Carley.

I have been in a negative place lately. A bit of regression. Seeing the bad in the world. Focusing on the negative in my life and in those around me. Obsessing over the bad news in the media. Dark. Dreary. Heavy.

Today it was on the mat with me. I hurt. And I really started to hate my body. Not the vanity type of hatred but more the resentment for it letting me down. I want to feel light and flexible and strong. And instead, I am sore and broken and aging. My parts aren't moving the way I want.

It was a class that I only just survived. It's still a joy, somewhere deep under the gloom, to have an opportunity to practice at this place with these teachers and students. But I am hanging on right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment