27 October, 2012

My own private Salvation Army

Today was Power Vinyasa with Carley.

I'm tired today. Actually, class was yesterday, but I say today anyway, because I didn't write yesterday and I didn't take class today. I was trying to remember, at the end of class, what part of class felt the best. And I realized that it was Savasana. It was, in fact, the only part of class that felt great. My body is resisting it again. It was such a good class. The class itself. But my body's experience of it was just fatigue and heaviness.

It was a crowded class. It was humid. I should have plenty to say about it, because Carley was in her typical amazing fashion of saying just the right things. But I am having a hard time making myself write. Why the wall? I don't know. I can hardly scrape these words out of me, even though it's taking more effort to complain about having to write than it would to just write what there was to say.

Okay, so we see how this is just like yoga.

Sorry, Carley. Your class deserves a better blog entry than this.

25 October, 2012

Long time, no see

Today was Power Vinyasa Basic with Cassandra.

I walked into Urban Yoga Spa to take a class today. It was my first there in a while. When I entered, there were many people in the lobby, as the 5:30 class had just ended. Upon seeing me, there was a loud cheer of a greeting, which took me somewhat by surprise. I have a paradox of not wanting to be ignored or forgotten, but also not wanting to have too much direct attention thrown upon me. This was solidly in the latter category. Cassandra was at the front desk, and she was also excited to see me. She was standing separate from the rest of the people, and I somehow found her to be the safest, most comfortable destination in the room, toward whom I could express my feelings of connection. I approached her, and gave a hug and a shy hello. I don't know why I feel so shy. I am not sure, really, at all.

Even a Basics class felt heavy. I know. It's getting tiresome hearing the same old thing. It wasn't even hot at all, but my body continues to say no to just about everything I throw its way.

The mirror was not my friend today. I have become accustomed to not seeing myself in the mirror during the poses. And today, the combination of mirrors and heaviness, led me to feel negative about my body. It felt doughy. The poses looked crooked and sloppy. But I suspect that it wasn't really seeing what is, but being spun off into some negative fantasy about what is. Still, I don't want to have those mirrors right now. And I suppose that is interesting too, why it bothered me so much. Perhaps it tied together with my emotions arriving at the studio.

I really don't know.

Don't know where I am in my practice right now, but feel like I am losing ground. We talked about how it is difficult to maintain the ground gained. How soldiers often say that it's harder to keep territory that you've won, than to win it in the first place. That subject arose during the book-reading class last weekend. And here it is. This sensation of losing ground.

And I don't know why.

A moment of fear... what if I decide I don't like yoga anymore and just stop doing it?

24 October, 2012

Did I mention that it hurts?

Today was Power Vinyasa with Sean.

I had to take Low Cobra today. And I will probably have to take more and more of them if I want to keep doing this, because the shoulder is back in the land of the bad again. It hurts just about as much as it has ever hurt. I don't understand why. I have worked on my form, I am trying to be mindful and aware of the movement of my body. I want to conclude that my body just has "issues," but there's another part of me that says that is a story that I am telling myself. And I am not sure how to know the difference. We discussed this during the book reading last weekend, as well. How do you know the difference between "letting yourself off the hook" versus "listening to your body?" There's this belief that you'll know the truth in your heart. Or that if you quiet down and listen, it will be more clear. But, in the meantime, there's still the practice. There's still this body, hurting, and telling me what I think sounds like "back the fuck off." Okay, so it's not as difficult of a question as I was making it out to be. I am not letting myself off the hook. I think, perhaps, the lesson here is that I default toward the hardest possible perception of myself. The judgment of self and others. The tendency to want to abuse (self and others) rather than to be gentle, compassionate, accepting. To punish (self and others) for not measuring up to whatever arbitrary standard is on the table for tonight's discussion. And you see that right here, this absolutism.

It was my first time in Sean's class. It was a nice combination of humor and hard work. And it was another of those rare, and interesting experiences of taking a yoga class with someone whom I have met and spoken with prior to taking their class. That is always a different vibe, perhaps for no other reason than it being the opposite of how things usually go.

A very nice class.

But the body not cooperating.

Trying to remain calm in the face of life's challenges

Last night was Gentle Yoga with Elizabeth.

If I'd written about the class last night, it would have been a very different entry. But the day's events have led me to be trying to use my yoga in life, rather than recalling the yoga itself as clearly as I would otherwise.

Earlier this week, I had a semi-scare about a major crisis at work. I guess I handled it okay? Now, two days later, I was faced with another mistake at work. This time, a rather major one, in terms of the integrity of the actual work that I do. I made an error that impacts the quality of the data that I collect in my research. There were other implications of the mistake, but I'll spare you the details. It was rather big, and broad in scope. And there's no way of undoing the mistake, other than to try to decipher the truth from within the data that I do have. 

I'm disappointed in the error. 

It was the result of overlooking a detail in my process, and I actually (it turns out) have repeated the error in several consecutive studies that I've conducted, never catching it, because of the fact that this portion of my process was essentially "auto-pilot." I may never have caught the mistake, for some time longer, had I not stumbled upon it dealing with a weird detail in the data I collected. 

To err is human, I guess? 

I was working on a complex project. I had actually elected to make it even more complex than it needed to be, in an effort to be fancy and clever in my implementation. And I spent copious amounts of time and effort troubleshooting and testing the part that was complex. Turns out, my error had to do with an extremely simple, trivial part, that was as obvious as counting from A to Z (in fact, it was just that; namely, I thought a list was in sequential order, and it actually wasn't, and I pasted info from one list to another, assuming the lists aligned). 

So what does it say? I pay attention to detail, but I might be blind to the elephant in the room? I spend time instrumenting complexity in my world, when simple, yet tedious, sometimes suffices? Ironically, just this morning, I was marveling at how I had not made any big mistakes in my entire time on the job. And, just like that, the slap-down. 

I didn't get too upset about it today. It's a mess. It's ugly. It's a little embarrassing. But somehow, I will just move forward, and get what I can out of the data. And I'll learn from the mistake. The thing that scares me a little bit is that I am not entirely sure what all the lessons are that I should learn. I know not to make that error again. But how do I not make those types of errors again? That's the main concern. And I guess, what I learned is that there are types of risks that are unavoidable, such as typos or oversights. But then there are the choices we make that determine the severity of the unavoidable mistakes. The choices I made about how to structure my work failed to consider "worst-case scenario." That's actually rather funny, since I am typically someone who is utterly driven by worse-case-scenario thinking, or at least I had been. Maybe I have finally swung so far into the realm of overcompensating, that I now would do well to remember my roots?

------------

All that said, there was, indeed, yoga yesterday. 

Elizabeth took us through the Standard Series of Ashtanga (or at least, a part of it). The poses take on a deeper level in her class, where we have an opportunity to spend a very long time in certain stretches, exploring form and function of our own bodies. The mechanics start to make more sense. We started class with a fairly lengthy meditation, where Elizabeth talked about how it is tough to quiet the mind at the end of the day, enough so that it becomes passive, which is a necessary state of mind for doing the yoga. 

It was a deep practice, and I enjoyed it a lot, even though I knew I would once again be feeling it in my muscles today. And I am.

Tonight, I will have the opportunity to try to let it all go, this day. I know that life has lessons to teach us. And I know that everything is going to be okay, no matter what. But there are times where I just wish it could be an unending string of successes.

22 October, 2012

Trying to stay in the body not the mind

Today was Power Vinyasa with Vanessa.

It was a tough day today. Perhaps it was the hardest day I have had at my one year on the job. A situation arose in work where it appeared that a major mistake had been made, and it was potentially my mistake, though it was unclear. The consequence was that certain work would need to be put on hold indefinitely until a matter was resolved. Another consequence was that we might have been violating a policy that could have repercussions. I wouldn't say that I became adrenalized, but I was a bit angry and resentful that this was happening, and I felt like running away: "I shouldn't have to deal with this!" I went to lunch with a friend, where I was barely present, imagining worst-case scenarios where I might lose my job. Even started to think wild thoughts like "I should get all my personal files off my laptop immediately, in case... whatever."

After the lunch, we were walking back to work, and I paused to check in with my body. And I realized something interesting. I wasn't feeling fear. I wasn't feeling anxiety. I was actually feeling nothing in my body. Complete calm. And it occurred to me that all the "crisis" was in my mind, and it was largely fabricated around possibilities and expectations. My body somehow knew that everything was okay. I went back to work and, after a series of phone calls and systematic thinking, I solved the problem. And, in the end, I actually ended up solving a bigger problem than the one that was at hand, because I was able to think clearly.

There's a yoga lesson in here somewhere.

At the end of a long day, I found myself at Vanessa's class, knowing that I really needed to get on the mat, and let go of all that which had likely taken up residence somewhere in my body. It was a tough class, but it was exactly what I needed. For the most part, there was no pain, and I thought a lot about what it means to really expand and extend, and to feel the earth beneath me, and to be constantly checking in with the entire surface of my body as I move through the poses, recognizing what is happening and where.

I could get caught up in the "negative" or my moment's panic today. Or I could recognize that the more important thing is coming back to the center, letting go of the drama.

Because this is what is happening.

20 October, 2012

Those Saturday mornings

Today was Power Vinyasa, 90 minutes, with Nicole.

I always thought that it was Odessa who was my Saturday morning nemesis, wringing me out like a sponge in those 90 minute classes. But I am now quite certain that it's the 90 minute Saturday morning classes (particularly when they follow a Friday evening, resulting in less than 24 hours rest). Nicole's class was a very standard Journey Into Power flow, and she was certainly not overly brutal on the class. But I walked out, crawled out, sopping wet, with my towel dripping so much that it was like a stream. One of those embarrassing situations, where I feel like I need to apologize to everyone who sees me, because of the disgusting wake of sweat that I am leaving behind.

What to do about those Saturday mornings... Do I just avoid that time slot and opt for an afternoon? Do I power through it, and try to break myself of the aversion? Is my body just telling me "No go?"

Maybe the trick is to recognize that this time slot requires a different request from my body? To show up asking for less, until I find that spot where the practice is not "profuse."

When reading Iyengar, he was talking about "right" pain versus "wrong" pain, and I think that there might be a lesson to be learned here. He also talks about effort and intensity being enough, but not too much. I find myself dipping deep into "heaviness" in a lot of classes. I ask the same of myself every time. Interestingly, I think I tend to expect the same from others all the time. And as I see in my body, that expectation is fantasy. We aren't the same every time, and if we expect the same, we will repeatedly encounter conflict.

So I guess it's not "no go" but "slow go."

19 October, 2012

A bit lost

Today was Power Vinyasa with Elizabeth Thomas.

I was really happy to be here at Elizabeth's class today. I am liking this slow feeling of new familiarity, easing into a place that was first exciting because of the novelty, and is now taking on a softer welcoming feeling, as I get to know the people, and some of the instructors start to recognize me as well. Of course, I make it rather obvious, my presence, being that I tend to plop my mat down directly in front of the instructor (not really sure why I do that, actually, and it was never the case at Urban Yoga Spa, but has been the case in most other places where I've practiced). I could venture to guess that it has to do with connection above all else, but who knows what's going on in that brain.

Though I was happy to be there, I felt heavy. My shoulder has been hurting, and I have been resisting modifications. I don't know that I've put my knees down on 3 Chaturangas in the past month, even though my shoulder has been hurting progressively more. There's a resistance in me. I talked about it in class. I guess it's ego, but I don't think it's coming from a place of trying to impress. I think it's coming from a place of not wanting to be gentle and nurturing with myself for some reason. I won't let up. But I need to find a way to get lightness back in. Just staying in High Plank for brief holds, I feel quite fatigued in shoulders and triceps. Could be the weather change? Could be not sleeping well? Could be lots of things.

I am in a phase where the body is telling me things I don't want to hear. And, along those lines, I have been resisting even setting down to write about it. But finally, here I am.

18 October, 2012

Finally Carley

Today was Power Vinyasa with Carley.

After two full-on missed attempts at taking her class (once due to a scheduling mix-up, and once due to her being out sick), along with other misses where my schedule didn't permit, I finally managed to get back in for a Carley class, after what seems like at least a month.

I only wish my body were being more compliant right now!

Yesterday was a day off, resulting from what can only be described as amazing things that were going on in my muscles as a result of the so-called "Gentle Yoga" class I took on Tuesday. I felt soreness through deltoids, lats, obliques, glutes, and outer hips that I'd never experienced before from a yoga class. It felt more like I had done some sort of weightlifting workout, and I wasn't even really sure if I would be able to do yoga at all, given what a challenge it was just to walk up and down a flight of stairs!

I don't recall much about the class, other than the heaviness seemed to be really coming on that day. By the end of the week, after this class, I was starting to feel like I might be getting sick. And perhaps I had not slept well.

It's a bit frustrating, if one allows it to be, the idea of not being able to fully enjoy a teacher that one really enjoys, because of lack of cooperation of the body. Every day is what it is. I think it was either Nicole or Michel who quoted Baron Baptiste this week, saying "Wherever you go, there you are." Of course, that saying has been around for a long time. I think I first heard it 15 years ago, and it had been around then, too. It can be applied in many contexts. With respect to our favorite classes, favorite teachers, favorite poses, etcetera (and the converse), it helps to recognize that it all comes down to where our bodies are on any given day. Coming to the mat without expectation means to arrive ready and open to whatever is. Carley's class is not always going to be wonderful dreamy utopia for me, because my body is not always going to be in tune with that channel. Practice is accepting that. I am still happy, and grateful to practice in her class. I have a little bit of work to do when it comes to being happy and grateful with my body right now, though. That's a work in progress.

16 October, 2012

You call that gentle?

Today was Gentle Yoga with Elizabeth McElveen.

First off, let me say that it was an amazing class today, full of light energy, and emotional flowing, humor, creativity. I feel like Elizabeth is like a magical pixie-like creature who landed on Earth, wise and spiritual, and she shares thoughts with us, in almost a meditative stream of consciousness. With nearly all of my instructors, I feel a sense of being cared for. There's not a shortage of that. But Elizabeth seems to have a gift of imparting in her style. I feel like we are receiving a gift just being there. And every class is different, based on the whim of the day, and what her eye observes in the room. She really pays attention, and that is something special.

Today there were two things that made class into something that would ultimately not end up feeling "gentle" in its aftermath. First, she had us take our leg up in a Three-Legged Dog, and do some serious long, slow circles, with the leg fully extended, really opening up without bending the knee. We were held in this for a long time, going first in one direction, then the other. This was a serious glute and outer hip workout.

Then, she noticed that we were not getting very much extension in our Standing Splits, so she suggested we all try a wall exercise, where we did Half Moon with our foot squarely placed against the wall, followed by Standing Splits, with our "vertical leg" pressed up against the wall, using the wall to aid in getting that extension. There were two possible lessons here: (1) If you were able to easily get into a full-on Standing Split, using the wall, that implies that you have the flexibility to achieve the pose, and need to work on building the strength, or (2) If you were simply, completely unable to get the top leg all the way up the wall, it implies that you do not yet have the flexibility to achieve the pose, and need to work toward opening up more (likely in hamstrings and hip flexors). Of course, no surprise, I fell into the latter bucket. But the effort of trying these wall-assisted poses, resulted in my feeling some extreme soreness in the associated muscles for several days after the class.

I really love her class, because it is always outside the box. I think of her as having the lightness and whim of Ginger, the gentleness of Diane, and the technical knowledge of Patrick (to compare to my long-time instructors at Urban Yoga Spa), which is a pretty interesting combination of attributes.

15 October, 2012

The work is always right there waiting for you

Today was Hatha with Patrick.

I had taken four days off, I believe. We'd contemplated the idea of doing yoga together in Chicago, but the schedule didn't really permit it, and I also figured my body could continue to use some more rest. Italy feels like a million years ago, now, and I would have to actually do math and check a calendar to remember how long ago it was. I think I returned on September 26th? So I guess it's not even a month.

The rest was needed, but I probably lacked some elements of the kind of rest which were key, namely extra sleep. And I assume that flying on an airplane probably does a fair bit of damage to me every time, with the general stiffness of sitting all that time, combined with whatever effect the pressurization has on arthritic joints.

The Hatha felt good, and I was surprised to find that Patrick went really easy on us with the heat (for some reason). The room was neither as hot, nor as humid as typical (I have stopped recording temperatures and humidity, because I decided, after initial amusement, that it was sort of pointless and a tad obnoxious to be reporting it in the blogs).

Patrick did most of the class with us, which always amazes me. How can someone do an intense practice, involving challenging balance poses, like Natarajasana, while giving instruction through all stages of the pose. Some of these poses practically require regular breath to navigate into them, which must mean that he's either finding a way to breath and talk, or he's just hella strong and doing the poses without breath. Either way, it's a source of wonder.

It was good to be back in a yoga class. I'm still having a bit of an existential "thing" right now. I toyed with the idea of ceasing this blog, but then was reminded (and reminded myself, as well) that this is the time when I need to force myself to do it, because there's obviously something here that I'm trying to run away from. Is it boredom? Is it tedium? Is it fear? Challenge? Discomfort? Uncertainty?

I also found myself (and was called out for) being on a slightly downward trajectory, emotionally, over the last few weeks. I suspect it's a combination of seasonal changes, and the reality check of not being in Italy, where all I need to worry about was yoga, and dinner.

But here's the work, right? It's right here. I can run away from it, or I can face it. But running away won't make it go away. It will be right there waiting for me.

10 October, 2012

What is it teaching us

Today was Power Vinyasa with Elizabeth Thomas.

Again, I'd planned on Carley's class, but things didn't turn out as planned. She was sick. And it's really no matter, because I am enjoying Elizabeth quite a bit as well. And, more importantly, the quality of class is increasingly driven by internal states and attitude. I think that was always the case, but I may have not been attributing enough credit to it.

My shoulder felt a little better today. My suspicion is that I got a little more sleep.

Still feeling like I am against the current in this phase. But that too shall pass.

09 October, 2012

Need it gentle

Today was gentle yoga with Elizabeth McElveen.

I have a problem now with too many Elizabeths. I will need to refigure my tagging system.

The only sensible solution, given how sore I have been, was gentle yoga. And I am really glad I took her class. She's a very unique instructor. There is philosophy. There is reading. There is floaty, ethereal energy. The poses, though all similar to a power vinyasa class, all felt like stretches because of how she frames them, and where the emphasis was placed. It sort of felt like more of a static practice than a flowing one. But what do I know?

It was what I needed, in every way. And I am looking forward to more gentle yoga.

08 October, 2012

Dragging

Today was 90 minutes of Power Vinyasa with Michel.

I took a day off Sunday. What gives? I was dragging, and it was exacerbated by a crowded class, bringing humidity into realms I hadn't seen before at Be Luminous. It wasn't even that hot, honestly. But I felt weak, tired, and the shoulder was hurting again (consistent with not getting enough sleep). I could feel the heaviness in the room. I think it was tough for everyone, and we were granted a "break" under the guise of some coaching about proper form during Chaturanga. Much needed, but it didn't serve to reset me, only perhaps delayed me from disintegration (good word, here, in both it's literal and syntactic definition). By the 60 minute mark, I was truly "dis-integrating" though I did manage, for the most part to come back to breath, when things got to be too much.

There came a point where I felt like I was "all done" when we got to Camel pose, and I found myself experiencing dizziness, lightheadedness, and nausea. I decided maybe today was not a "Camel day" for me. Then, it lingered onward, with me deciding I didn't want to do supine twists either. You know when you skip supine twist that it's because your mind has given up, rather than your body. But truthfully, my body was saying "Savasana." And I didn't want to argue with it on principle alone.

The last few days, I have been feeling like I need yoga, but that I am not getting to spend the time in the poses my body actually needs. I want to spend forever in Forward Fold. I want to spend forever in Low Lunge. I want to spend forever in Reclined Butterfly. Twisted Chair? Not so much. Low Plank? Not at all.

Tomorrow's another day...

06 October, 2012

The switch-a-roo continues

Michel, not Carley
Long holds... Intense class indeed
Muscles hurt today

Well, I left myself to write three days of blogs, and haiku seemed to be a cheap way of getting through it. The highlight of this week has actually been vertigo. In Tuesday's class, I started to experience it. And it has progressed from there. It went so far as me falling over onto my neighbor's mat during Cassandra's class the other day. Fortunately my neighbor was no stranger. It happens when I rotate my head. Especially to the left. I think it's likely an inner ear infection. But I am not a doctor.

The interesting thing is that I have evolved over the past 4 days to the point where I can now anticipate the spin and not lose my balance. But it's not right.

The last few days had lots of surprises. Teachers filling in for other teachers. Me taking classes other than the ones I planned. The whole week was pretty much the unexpected. And it doesn't really matter. It's my body. My practice. I welcome it.

Bring on the unexpected.

But please make it the "good unexpected" not the "bad unexpected."

05 October, 2012

New flows

Today was Liz Doyle
She's got her own kind of flow
Goodbye comfort zone



03 October, 2012

02 October, 2012

More unexpected

Today was supposed to be Power Vinyasa with Jen, but it ended up being with Farzeen, who is not even an instructor at Be Luminous.

There was a case of miscommunication, apparently, regarding schedule. The result was that we were laying on the floor in the studio, quietly waiting for Jen to arrive, as time passed. It was noon. Then five past. Then ten past. At that point, the front desk attendant poked their head in the room and motioned to someone in the class to come out in the hallway. Next thing we know, she (Farzeen) is back in the room, and tells us that she's going to be teaching today. She also informs us that it is going to be a very intense class, presumably because we now have only 50 minutes to do an hour of yoga.

It was definitely true that it was a difficult class.

During class, I had no idea if the instructor was a regular teacher at Be Luminous or not, since she hadn't been introduced to us. I am not sure if she's ever taught a class before, though it was clear that she's had a lot of teacher training, because she knew all the right instructions, and had a comfortable teaching style. I am guessing she probably teaches at another studio (though I can't find her on Google search, other than it appears she might have reviewed some studios on Yelp!).

I continue to be tired physically. It was interesting having unexpected changes in class. But my shoulders don't care about surprises. And gravity doesn't ever take a holiday.

01 October, 2012

Mind all over the place or mind on life

Today was Power Vinyasa with Vanessa. Vanessa. Vinyasa. Vinyessa. It has a nice ring to it.

I had never taken a class with Vanessa before. Getting a lot of firsts lately. She pushed hard, and my body is still tired and creaky in the hips. Though, as I keep saying, even the hardest class at Be Luminous is still manageable because I never find myself in the near-panic heart-pounding state of not having enough air. It's just what works better for me. And I know that I'm just an individual with individual preferences and individual capacities. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

In class today, it was kind of crowded. We'd just begun, and we were in Child's Pose. I had my eyes closed, and I hear someone enter the room a few minutes late. They set up their mat right next to me, which caused me to feel this moment of distraction. I also felt like they got in my space, since there was not much room between mats, and I start having these thoughts like "I show up on time, so that I can get a good space, and now someone comes in late and is in my space. How is this fair?" But I try to push that thought away. Then, as class progresses, I notice that the guy has his towel and his glasses, sort of almost on my mat, and I think "It's bad enough that he's late, but now he's putting his shit in my space too!" And I'm trying not to be irritated by him, but I am. Then, as class goes along, I peripherally notice that he's working really hard, and breathing really hard, and probably trying to get himself into some poses that he shouldn't be trying to get himself into. On the one hand, my mind is getting irritated because his choppy breathing is distracting me. But then, at a certain point, something starts to shift, and I almost start to feel some compassion and acceptance for the guy, because he's just doing the best he can, showing up, and doing his practice. And then, later, I reflected on it further, and realized that he probably was busting his ass to even make it to this class. And he probably meant to be on time, but life made him late. And he probably really needed this yoga. And as distracted as I was, he was probably having an even harder time settling in, and getting centered, after whatever frenzy it took to even make it to class. And I realized that, instead of being irritated by this guy, I should love this guy. Because he's trying.

My mind isn't really on the yoga these days. I still find myself going nearly every day. Taking a day off still feels a little bit like "Do I really need a day off?" And I still find myself working hard and feeling present on the mat. But I don't feel like I am doing deep exploration at the moment. And that's not even really true. It's just sort of slid off the mat and into other areas. And I am not even sure if that's really true. I think I almost cried the other day in class, but I can't remember whose class. Probably Elizabeth.

Maybe I am not really feeling like writing about yoga right now. I wrote about it for 108 days in a row, for Christ's sake! Right? But, nevertheless, I will continue writing about my experiences in this practice.

I bought tickets to go to Thailand last night. This may seem to have nothing to do with practice, but I am pretty sure it has a lot to do with it. I had an aversion, a fear, about going to Asia. The culture shock was something that I was very apprehensive about. I always found a reason why I don't want to go. I would say "There are a lot of other places on my list that are far above Asia." And then, I would go to Hawaii. Again, and again, and again. I have been to Hawaii 8 times? Or nine? That's nothing to complain about, of course. But it is the epitome of staying within one's comfort zone. Hawaii is easy, familiar, comfortable, safe.

Now, just like that, I am finding myself not the least bit apprehensive about leaping far outside that comfort zone, and exploring places that are not as easy, unfamiliar, perhaps uncomfortable at times. The yoga is where this came from. The practice shows me that I can go anywhere, and do anything.

That's where my mind is right now. And the excitement now will be crafting (loosely) the framework of that experience. I don't need to know everything, but I do want to know where I'm staying.