07 September, 2012

Empty but present

Today was Power Vinyasa with Elizabeth.

Slept 3.5 hours last night. Caffeine put me through the day, but the heavy cloud began to fall in the mid-afternoon. As I write this, I am finding myself having a hard time focusing. The tank is empty.

I wondered, "How am I going to do 75 minutes of hot yoga with no sleep?"

At the beginning of class, I felt heavy and tentative. About halfway through class, something flipped like a switch, and the energy came on. Something energized me and carried me through the second half of class. But the Chaturangas felt like I was lifting someone else's body. The places that are on the verge of injury anyway felt more on the verge. A time to be extra-mindful, extra-present.

Elizabeth read a poem in the end. By Mary Anne So-and-So. I don't remember her name. I don't remember the poem. I was on the edge of tears at several points during class. Fatigue makes us more vulnerable emotionally, as well as physically. Cracked open.

The streak goes on.

Day 108 is so close.

You're almost at the top of the mountain. Why would you give up now?

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