06 August, 2012

It's supposed to be hard

Today was Hatha with Patrick.

More angst over the heat. It felt like I was on the surface of the sun. I've come to the point where my physical focus mostly remains strong, but the inner focus still gets scattered. I remember in the past, I would not maintain stillness. There would be much fidgeting and heavy sighs. I've learned to shut that down. But the mind still spins. I wonder, is the quieting of the body the first step toward quieting the mind? Are they interrelated? I hope so. But it seems there is a chasm between the two. One could achieve complete physical stillness years before the mind starts to cooperate. But I am inclined to believe I am heading in the right direction.

After class I was telling Patrick about the difficulties I was having with the heat. He told me that it is supposed to be hard. I know he's right. But that's hard to hear. I want it to become easier. Every day it's going to be hard? Because we are always at our own edge? Is that life? Always hard because we are always pushing some limit?


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