02 August, 2012

Falling back on competitiveness

Today was Power Vinyasa with Kathy.

After two days in the 90 degrees it was back to 10? (where the ? was probably between 4 and 9). It was a very tough class, probably the toughest I have had with Kathy in months. Unrelenting is probably the word for it. And I noticed that the mode I went into was "fight" rather than "flight." I found myself feeling very competitive. I actually sort of showed up with that intention today for some reason. Not sure. But I was going to charge right at it all and then some.

No water. No rest until we went to the floor. I was not going to show any cracks. I wanted to kill it.

And a little voice inside of me says... "This may not be a good thing."

Yoga is supposed to be a place of humble, ego-free, quiet, inner peace. It's not a freaking football field. It's not a boxing ring. And competitiveness is sort of the anti-yoga.

I want to blame it on the hot room. But maybe I just showed up today carrying this load on me and brought it right to the mat.

For the most part I felt strong. That's something good. I still keep asking myself why it needs to be this hot. But I also could ask why not.

Or I could stop asking all the questions.

Argh.

1 comment:

  1. Depending on if you went to four or five-thirty, we were there, being yoga buddies without knowing it! haha

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