28 June, 2012

Nowhere to go within

Today was Yin with Jo.

The whole point of yin yoga is to go inward. To let go. To not force it. Find the places in the joints, beyond the muscles. Problem is, I have a hard time getting there. My muscles are so tight, some of them, that I feel blocked from entry into the land of the yin. My body stops me like a bouncer.

I end up feeling like I'm doing nothing in some of the poses because I can't get there. They will tell me that this is right where I need to work. Being okay with this place. This is where my work is. But I still feel excluded. Outcast. Tight. Blocked. No joy in the depth.

I ask myself why I am here and what does it mean. Am I unable to go deep into my joints as some metaphor for being unable to go deep within my own heart? Are they connected? Is this who I am? Blocked by my own physical and emotional barriers from knowing myself?

Or do I just have really fucking tight hamstrings.

Hard to say.

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