23 June, 2012

Don't you just love foot cramps?

Today was 90 minutes of Power Vinyasa with Odessa.

I'm not sure I mentioned this here before, but I love love love foot cramps! Seriously, don't you?

So, if you do (and I am assuming you do, since, I mean, who wouldn't?) here's a good recipe for getting foot cramps in both feet. And, in case you're worried that these are just some lame-o foot cramps, let me assure you, these are the real deal! If you enjoy having the tops of your feet cramp, when you attempt to do Low Cobra, do not delay! If you like those totally transcendent arch-of-the-foot cramps that start off as a "hint" of a cramp, that you think you can fend off, but then it goes full-on nuclear, and is amazingly resistant to the usual methods of flexing and massaging. Do not despair! I can tell you how to get these!

Okay. So, first, what you need to do is not sleep enough for maybe 3 or 4 days. I recommend staying up until about 3am. But 2am could work as well, if you happen to be an early riser. Your mileage may vary. Next, it is absolutely essential that you consume alcohol. Lots. However, there's a sweet spot. If you drink too much, then you will have a hangover, and it is unlikely that you will actually make it to the final stages of this process (attending a class). What you want to do is stop drinking just when you get to that drink that you're pretty sure is the one that is going to cause the hangover. Do not drink that drink.

Okay. So the stage is set. Those are what I would call the basic "prerequisites" for the mind-blowing foot cramps of a lifetime. Next step is simple: Do not, under any circumstances, drink enough water. If you drink water, you are only denying yourself the big payoff here. You've come this far. Why would you do that now?

Final step in the process: Go to Odessa's 90 minute Power Vinyasa class.

Okay. All kidding aside, class was pretty awesome today. But I did incur these cramps that I get from time to time, and today seems to be particularly bad. I did the banana. I did the Emergen-Cee. But it's just one of those days.

The class featured a whole lot of Chaturanga, which I mostly modified because I was feeling pretty weak today (I forgot to mention, I am also coming down with a cold). And, as always, we did a lot of staying deep in the legs. Low Lunges, Crescent Lunges, Warriors, Twists, Chairs. 90 minutes is a long time, with ample opportunity to not just graze "The Edge" but to set up shop, and perform a full characterization of exactly what "The Edge" is.

Crescent Lunge to Airplane transition. I am curious why that one's so tough for me. I am also curious if it would be that tough if it happened near the beginning of a shorter class. All I do know is that, in this class, I was so wobbly in that transition, that I was practically falling to both sides, and occasionally using the wall to rebalance myself, even losing balance and putting my hand to the floor a few times. When we did the first side, I started getting into that downcast "What's wrong with me today?!" mindset. I was frustrated and fatigued. But I pulled out of it when we got a little bit past the toughest of it, and noted to myself that I should just "let it be whatever it is" on the other side, not beating myself up.

Near the end of class, I was spent. Odessa told us to lower down from High Plank all the way to the mat and rest, OR.. if we wanted to do a little more work... Dolphin Plank. Now, I do love this pose, and I am usually able to rock it no matter what the circumstances. But today, I decided to say "No mas!" to Dolphin Plank and go for the granted Savasana. Lying, face down, on my sopping mat. And then I hear a little voice coming from the mat next to me (Kathy), saying "But Bob... Dolphin Plank is your favorite pose..." And... of course, I'm up in Dolphin Plank. They say you should listen to your body, but that is second on the list behind "Listen to Kathy." Plus, I knew it was my mind that wanted to give in, not my body. At least for that pose. If it had been another set of Crescent Lunge,you couldn't have raised me if I were the Titanic (I don't even know what that means).

It took a long, long time to recover today, and I am not even sure I am fully recovered even 7 hours later. I think that's a signal that I need a little more water, a little more sleep, a little less alcohol, and a little more self-care.

Namaste, Odessa, for another ass-kicker.

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