16 April, 2012

Tiny revelations

Today was the noon Power Vinyasa with Cassandra.

Ok, I'll admit it, and the numbers don't lie. I've got a tendency to seek out Cassandra's classes (if you look at how many entries are tagged with the label "Cassandra" you'll see that I have taken her classes about twice as often as any other instructor). I do want to expose myself to different teachers, and make sure that I am challenging myself in new ways, but sometimes you've just got to accept that if you really love chocolate chip ice cream, you should just order chocolate chip ice cream.

Right?

Today, I had to jump through some hoops and hurdles to make the noon class happen. It was partly because my evening schedule lent itself to trying to do yoga earlier in the day. But there was also that enticement of her noon class, combined with the fact that the morning at work had my mind desperately seeking some type of reset. And it was well worth it. The sequence was quite similar to a series she's been into for the last few classes. There's a couple of parts of this new sequence that are quite brutal!

Brutal Sequence #1:
Chair
Prayer Hands
Twisted Chair
Arms wide
Fold
Halfway Lift
Chair
Raise to tiptoes
Squat and take Crow
Malasana
Fold
Repeat on other side

Brutal Sequence #2:
Eagle
Mountain with arms raised
Extend leg forward
Transition to Airplane
Half Moon
Twisted Half Moon
Standing Splits!!
Fold
Repeat other side

To put it mildly, Cassandra wasn't fucking around today :)

So, about the "revelations" I mentioned. I have been asking the question repeatedly about why I didn't want to take a day off. I have been asking if it's obsession. I have been asking if it's addiction. All of this was judgment. Some of it stemmed from others questioning me. But a lot of negative thoughts swirled around it.

Today, during class, I realized that the reason I want to do this every day is not because I feel driven to "workout" seven days a week. It's not about exercise. It's about what it does to my mind. It's my fuel. My rejuvenation. My recovery. I have needed this practice so much, for so long; now that I am finally doing it, I want it every day.

It's true that I need to heed my body's requests for rest, but I don't need to subscribe to others' value judgment about "How much is enough?"

This is my practice.

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