17 April, 2012


Today was Power Vinyasa, 75 minutes, with Cassandra who was substituting for Kathy, and doing a superb job of channeling her intensity.

My legs were completely toasted with deep lunges and Warrior poses, Twists, Half Moons, Standing Splits. It went on and on. I am really not sure what the precise line is between the mind "giving in" versus the body. There have only been one or two classes where I have experienced clear muscle failure. But today danced near that threshold.

In honor of Kathy, of course, we did a triple series of Dolphin Plank, with variations. There were also pushups, and lots of variations on Side Planks. I guess Cassandra spent some time planning this one!

I had to face that feeling of choosing to rest or take modifications. I could hear the quiet judge. The small disappointment that I was not sticking with every pose. But it didn't linger. I had placed myself next to a woman whom I know to be a very advanced yogi. She's amazingly flexible, can do all sort of inversions and balances. And I couldn't help but notice that she needed some rests too. I know it's not a contest or comparison. But it does help to see that it's okay to rest. I guess I am wanting validation through shared experience.

One thing I am getting much better at is immediately going into rest without drama, and immediately coming out of rest without drama. It feels good to start "letting go" right away.

Yesterday, Cassandra did this amazing little guidance of being in the moment. She was talking to us during final Savasana, and she told us to focus on nothing but "this breath... (pause)... and this breath... (pause)... and this breath." It seems so simple, but those words and the connection to the physical breath were almost like a meditation.

The moment is always here, and yet it can still be so elusive.

I am grateful that I am occasionally finding it.

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