11 March, 2012

Manufacturing drama

I decided to re-read some of my posts, and noticed that I have a tendency to type at significant length around the subject of "creating drama." This is, as I have noted, something that rings true to me. I know that I have a propensity for doing it, and that it's an area where I need to grow. I often feel it on the mat, at the end of a class. And I have had the experience of recognizing it, and still creating it anyway. Not surprisingly, I have started noticing a parallel experience off the mat; not only recognizing that I am creating drama, but doing it anyway. It's almost as if I want that drama.

Right now, in one way or another, my life is sort of in a figurative Savasana. But, nonetheless, I see myself rooting around, finding ways to not be still, to not be calm. And I have to ask myself: "Why do I want to create this drama?" In the past, I have focused on this, though I didn't have the label that I ascribe to it here. I might have called it "making things harder than they need to be" or "creating a problem where there is none." But there's something perfect about the expression "creating drama" that almost answers the question before you finish asking it.

I could expend my energy on exploring why I have this tendency. I might get somewhere, gain some insight, come away with a few snapshots of the navel that I didn't previously have. But it isn't really going to get me where I want to be. There may be an easier path. Just stop creating the drama. When the thoughts arise, when the mind begins stirring, when the negative fantasies start coalescing, just stop.

Stop.

Breathe.

Return to the moment.

Because the moment is actually drama-free. On my back. Shoulders relaxed down. Feeling the earth pushing back against me. Arms open. Palms facing up. Feet falling open slightly to each side. Face soft. Jaw relaxed. Eyes closed.

This is Savasana.

(enjoy it... because the work is coming)


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