31 December, 2011

The discipline to "not do"

New Year's Eve.

We always talk about the resolutions that "kick in" on January 1st. But for some reason, the last day of the year has always seemed equally, if not more important than the first day. What we choose to do on the last day of the year is something of a summary or closing remark on the year behind us. We can seal the memory of the year and, thus, set the intention for the year to come by finishing this one well.

That's why it might seem strange to hear me tell you that today I elected to not attend a yoga class. 

This December I took 26 classes in 31 days, with one stretch of 12 consecutive days without missing a day. And the fact is, I was just completely wiped out today. The progressive dehydration, with which I have still not fully learned to compensate, left me with the equivalent of an alcohol-free "hangover" that sent a message loud and clear:

"REST!!"

I really wanted to go. And I had my mind set on Colette's morning Hatha class. But, alas, it was not to be.

In a sense, I feel like the recognition that rest was what I really needed was a more important message to hear,  to accept, and to heed. So often, when I get in a mode of being committed and disciplined in something, I become obsessive with it, to the point that I drive myself needlessly beyond my limit. 

Listening to my body, and being okay with it is a big step for me. One of my hopes for this year is to show more lovingkindness to myself because I think it is a certainty that we can only give back to the world what we are willing to allow ourselves.

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